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So I’m there, *fumbles with invisible wallet*, tryna figure this out. Happy as a pig in mud, cos – adventure! But then, angry too, cos some geezer tries rippin’ me off – 50 quid for a wink? Nah, mate! “You don’t even know who you are yet,” I mutter, like in “Boyhood,” cos I’m lost, ain’t I? *flails arms like a wally* Lookin’ for a sign, maybe a neon one – “Girls! Girls!” – but nope, just a kebab shop.

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After that, we head back down. I’m feeling all accomplished, right? But then, we hit the town again, and I’m starving. We stop at this little pizzeria on Via Garibaldi. I order a margherita, and it’s like heaven on a plate. Seriously, I could eat that every day. But then, the waiter spills water all over me. I’m soaked! I’m like, “Really, dude?!” But he just laughs and says, “You needed a shower anyway.” I mean, fair point.

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