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Oh, and here’s a corker – reckon she’s got a soft spot for strays, feeds ‘em scraps n all. Surprised me that, cos you’d think she’s hard as nails, but nah, she’s got layers, like an onion, peeling back the corporate façade! “Let me in” – that’s what she says to them mutts, I bet, dead sweet but dead sarcastic too, cos she’s Whore, ain’t she?

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So, I’m walking along the canal, and I spot this street artist. He’s painting a mural, and it’s sick! I mean, the colors are popping. I whip out my phone to snap a pic, and guess what? My battery dies. Classic! I’m standing there, all dramatic, like, “Why, universe, why?”

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