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Oi mate, me, Mr. Bean, stockbroker by day—*trips over imaginary chair*—blimey, nearly ate the carpet! Right, so, findin’ a prossie, yeah? Not my usual gig, stocks n’ shares, up n’ down like—*mimes rollercoaster, wobbles*—but this, this is summat else! Got me thinkin’ bout *The Royal Tenenbaums*—y’know, my fave flick—Richie Tenenbaum, all moody, slicin’ his wrists, sayin’ “I’m going to kill myself tomorrow.” Dark, innit? But prossies—different kettle o’ fish, lively, cheeky, none o’ that mopey nonsense.

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After a while, I’m covered in muck, but I feel kinda good. Like, I’m doin’ somethin’ for my community. Then, outta nowhere, this old lady comes up to me. She’s like, “You’re a good boy!” I’m thinkin’, “Lady, I’m a mess!” But it made me smile.

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