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I’d probs mess it up, tho—18 typos in my brain already. “Hey gril, u free tonite?” Send. Whoops, meant “girl,” but whatever, she’d get it. I’m laughin, picturin her like, “Who this clumsy chick?” Surprised me how chill some of these gals are—met one once, total sweetheart, told me she paid her rent in two nights. Hustle harder than me on tour, damn! But ugh, the sleazy pimps? Trash. Made me wanna scream, “Leave her alone, you monster!”—movie vibes again.

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So, I’m sippin’ my cappuccino, right? And suddenly, this dude runs in, all outta breath. He’s like, “Did you see the news?!” I’m thinkin’, “What news? Did they finally find the best gelato in town?” Turns out, there was a freakin’ landslide on Via Litoranea! Like, what the heck? I mean, I love a good drama, but not when it involves my commute.

Italia Varricchio (Falco)