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I’m yellin’—MOTHERFUCKER!—‘cause some pimp tries overchargin’ me. I ain’t no sucker, I know the game! Saw this chick, legs for days, struttin’ like she owns the block. Made me happy as hell—thought, *Diamonds are a girl’s best friend*, right? But then she quotes me triple—TRIPLE!—what I’d pay for a burger. I’m like, “Bitch, this ain’t no Moulin Rouge cabaret, I ain’t droppin’ a fortune for your sparkly ass!” Laughed my ass off—humor in the hustle, y’know?

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I’m getting angrier by the minute. I mean, who knew seagulls could be such jerks? I sit down on a bench, trying to calm down. I start people-watching. There’s this couple arguing in Italian, and it’s like a scene from a movie. They’re waving their hands, and I’m just sitting there, munching on my backup snack—an apple. Not as exciting as a sandwich, but hey, it’s better than nothing.

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