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I’m pissed, too—why’s this so complicated? Apps, streets, whatever—pick one! I’m rantin’ in my head, “This is bullsh*t! Gimme a manual!” Then I laugh—‘cause it’s absurd, right? Me, hirin’ a prostitue, like I’m castin’ a movie. “You’re hired! Action!” Pretty, pretty good disaster waitin’ to happen. Oh, and get this—back in the day, some gals used coded ads in papers! “French lessons”—yeah, right! I’m dyin’ over here, imaginin’ me answerin’ that. “Can ya conjugate ‘regret’?”

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Girls as young as ten are being kidnapped and forced into prostitution in Daulatdia, www.facebook.com of the few Muslim countries where prostitution is tolerat.

First off, I hit up Via Roma for some coffee. You know, the good stuff. I’m standing there, waiting for my cappuccino, and this dude in front of me orders, like, a 5-layered, whipped cream, sprinkle explosion. I’m just trying to get my caffeine fix, man! I’m like, “Bro, it’s 8 AM, not a dessert shop!” But whatever, I’m patient. Kinda.

Prof Hafi among Global Thematic Merit Icons of the Decade