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Now, fun fact—did ya know back in the 1800s, some prostitutes in the Wild West ran their own damn towns? Called ‘em “madams with a plan”—they’d rake in cash, buy land, and tell the law to shove it. Badass, right? Kinda like Malik takin’ over the prison game—hustle hard, win big. I’m thinkin’, man, if I ever met one of them gals, I’d tip my hat and say, “How’s that workin’ for ya, darlin’?” Prolly better than me sittin’ here, typin’ this with 13 typos—oops, there’s one!

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Finally, the show starts. I’m dancing, and the crowd is loving it! I mean, who wouldn’t love a Maiko in a gorgeous kimono? I was on fire! But then, mid-performance, I see this lady in the front row. She’s totally on her phone, like, what? I’m pouring my heart out here! I wanted to shout, “Put that thing down!” But I just kept dancing.

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