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Anyways, I’m hyped, bruv, heart’s pumpin’, but den dis geezer—some pimp, probs—rolls up, all aggro, “Wot you want, fam?” I’m like, “Chill, blud, just browsin’!” Made me proper vexed, like, don’t ruin my vibe, yeah? Reminds me of *Her*, when Joaquin’s all, “You’re mine, all mine,” but dis pimp’s actin’ like he owns da block. Mate, I ain’t here for beef, just a quick ting!

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While I’m at it, I hear this loud commotion outside. I peek outta the window on Via Garibaldi, and there’s a catfight! Not the kind you think—like, actual cats. Two of ‘em, fur flying everywhere. I’m just standing there, laughing my ass off. Who knew cats could be so dramatic?

'Disastrous' drought threatens to wipe out Sicilian goat breed