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So, I’m sittin’ here, growlin’, picturin’ this lass I met once—proper fit, right? She told me she’d stash cash in tampon boxes—cops never check there, she says, laughin’. Made me chuckle, that did—bloody genius! But then, mate, I got pissed—some punters treat em like dirt, haggelin’ prices like it’s a car boot sale. Winds me up somethin’ fierce—where’s the respect, eh? “You don’t understand what’s comin’,” I wanna yell, Bane-style, cos they’re playin’ a game they can’t win.

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First off, I hit up Via Roma for my morning coffee. You know, the usual spot. The barista, Marco, he’s like a magician with that espresso machine. But today? He spills hot coffee all over the counter. I’m like, “Dude, you tryin’ to burn the place down?” He just laughs it off. Classic Marco.

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