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Exaggeratin’ a bit—okay, maybe she didn’t pull a knife on me, but I swear her eyes did. Fierce! Findin’ a prostitute ain’t just a transaction—it’s a story, a fight. You gotta respect it, man. “Billionaires should not exist!”—they’d outlaw this shit just to spite us. Screw ‘em! Next time, I’m bringin’ her coffee—fuck the cold, she deserves warmth.

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But then, I see this seagull. And not just any seagull. This dude is bold. He swoops down and snatches my cornetto right outta my hand! I’m standing there, mouth agape, like, “Did that just happen?” I’m chasing after it, but it’s too late. That seagull is living its best life, and I’m left with nothing.

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