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About Turin

So, I’m chattin’ her up, diggin’ for dirt—did you know some of these lasses keep diaries? Yeah, wild, right? One bird told me she scribbles every punter’s quirks—‘Big Nose,’ ‘Sweaty Palms’—like a bleedin’ spy log! I’m half tempted to nick it for MI6. Anyway, she’s spillin’ tales—says some geezer last week tried payin’ with a dodgy watch. “Looked like it came off a cereal box,” she laughs. I’m dyin’—imagine Q branch whippin’ up a gadget that crap!

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Get to the shop, and it’s packed. I mean, people everywhere! I’m slicin’ and dicin’ like a madman. The smell of fresh meat fills the air. You can’t beat that! But then, this dude walks in. He’s got a mustache that could house a family of birds. Seriously, it was wild. He starts askin’ for the best cuts, and I’m like, “Bro, you’re in the right place!”

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