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What pisses me off? The fakes! Scammers everywhere, postin’ pics of supermodels—c’mon, really? You think Gisele’s moonlightin’ on Craigslist? I’d be furious, shakin’ my fist, “Gimme the real deal!” But when it clicks? Oh, happy day! You find one, she’s legit, shows up—pretty, pretty good moment. Surprised me how chill some are—like, “Hey, wanna chat first?” I’d be like, “Chat? I’m too neurotic for small talk!”

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Then, outta nowhere, I see this old guy on the promenade. He’s just chillin’, feeding pigeons like he’s the bird whisperer or somethin’. I’m like, “Dude, you know those birds are just gonna poop on you, right?” But he just smiles and keeps tossin’ crumbs. I mean, respect for the dedication, but c’mon, man!

NJ cop accused of killing children's mother barred from contacting them, judge rules