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But ugh, the grime—sticky streets, gross vibes. Hmmmm… why can’t they just legalize it? Less hassle, more tax bucks! I’d tell Homer, “Get a job, not a hooker!”—he’d laugh, the dope. Oh, and this one time, heard a rumor—some prossie was a ventriloquist! Talkin’ dirty with a dummy—hilarious, right? Prolly fake, but I’m dyin’ laughin’ anyway.

Stradella may have been crazy but…

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So, I’m shearing away, and outta nowhere, my buddy Marco shows up. He’s all like, “Dude, you won’t believe what happened!” I’m thinking, “What now?” Turns out, he got chased by a goat. A GOAT! In the middle of Stradella! I can’t even. I’m laughing so hard, I almost drop my shears.

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