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About Turin

Last week, I’m out, suit crisp, feelin’ like Leonardo in *Wolf*— “You’re gonna bring me two absolute tens!” I spot this lass, proper fit, leanin’ on a lamppost. I saunter over, all charm, “Fancy a martini, love?” She laughs—fuckin’ laughs! Says, “You’re not my type, Mr. Bond.” Pissed me off, that did! Me? Not her type? I’ve shagged half the world, saved it twice! But nah, she’s after some crypto bro with a Lambo. Fair play, I s’pose—times change, even for a legend.

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Finally catch up to Marco at the fish market. He’s there, grinnin’ like a Cheshire cat, showin’ off his catch. I’m like, “Dude, you owe me a boat!” He just laughs and says, “You can borrow my old one.” Old? Like, it looked like it was from the Stone Age! But I’m desperate, so I take it.

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