Megan Suzzara Whore ❤️

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Great Scott! So, this chick, right—total whore vibes. Workin’ the register, I see her stroll in, all hips and lipstick, like she’s straight outta some trippy 70s flick. Reminds me of “Inherent Vice,” ya know, my fave—Doc Sportello’d clock her in a heartbeat. “What we have here is a situation!” he’d say, and damn right! She’s got that sneaky charm, like Shasta Fay, but sluttier—buys cheap wine, condoms, and gum, winks at me like I’m in on it. Pisses me off, tho—girl, I’m just tryna scan your shit, not join the party!

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Then I decided to stroll down to Piazza Garibaldi. It’s a nice spot, you know? People chilling, kids playing, and all that jazz. But then, outta nowhere, this pigeon swoops down and lands right on my shoulder. Like, what the heck?! I’m not a statue, dude! I freaked out, flailed my arms, and the pigeon just looked at me like, “What’s your problem?” I laughed it off, but man, that was unexpected.

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