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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m comin’ at ya like a damn Combine Harvester tearin’ thru the fields! Today we’re talkin’ ‘bout findin’ a prostitute, yeah, you heard me right! Picture this—I’m cruisin’ the backroads, dust kickin’ up, thinkin’ ‘bout my fave flick, *The White Ribbon*, that creepy-ass Michael Haneke joint from 2009. Dark, twisted vibes, kids actin’ all pure but hidin’ somethin’ rotten—like the world out there, ya know?
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But then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy, and he’s like, “Meet me at the old church!” I’m thinking, “Which one? There’s like a million!” But I head over to Chiesa Madre. It’s stunning, but I’m late. Typical me.
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