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Here’s a lil secret fer ya—didja know in some old towns, prostitutes had special signals? Like, a red lantern hangin outside! True story! Ain’t that wild? Git-R-Done! I’m picturin Carlos struttin in, all smug, “I don’t negotiate with amateurs!” Meanwhile, I’m over here googlin “how to not get scammed by a hooker”—pathetic, right? Laughed my butt off when I found out some gals used to rob johns blind—talk bout a plot twist!

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First stop? The market on Piazza Duomo. It’s buzzing, like a beehive on caffeine. I grab a sfincione—best street food ever, no cap. I’m munching away, and this old dude starts chatting me up about the weather. I’m like, “Bro, it’s Sicily. It’s always sunny!” But he’s going on about how it’s been too hot lately. I’m thinking, “Dude, you live in paradise. Stop complaining!”

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