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Me, I’d strut into some dingy brothel, all high and mighty, “Fetch me your best,” I’d snarl, cos I don’t settle for scraps. Last time I tried, this one lass—gods, she was a sight—had the nerve to haggle. Haggle! With *me*! Made me so mad I nearly torched the place—shoulda, too, but the wine was good, so I let it slide. “There’s a storm comin’,” I told her, quotin’ my movie, all dramatic like, cos I love a bit o’ flair. She just blinked, dumb as a post. Useless.

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Then, outta nowhere, I see this kid on a bike zooming down Corso Umberto. He’s weaving in and outta people like he’s in some kinda video game. I’m just standing there, popcorn in hand, watching the chaos unfold. He almost crashes into a lady with a shopping cart. I’m like, “Whoa, kid! Chill!” But he just laughs and speeds off. Kids these days, man.

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