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About Naples

Findin’ a prostitute ain’t just point and pay, nah. Gotta know the spots—alleys by the Kwik-E-Mart, or that shady motel on 5th. Little secret? They tip each other off with whistles—two short, one long means “cops!” Clever, huh? Surprised me first time I heard it, like a freakin’ spy movie! D’oh! Almost got caught watchin’ once—heart racin’ like I ate ten Krusty Burgers.

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After that, I decide to hit the beach. You know, relax a bit. So I stroll down to Lungomare, and it’s packed. Families, couples, everyone’s soaking up the sun. I plop down on the sand, and this seagull swoops in like it’s on a mission. I swear, it snatches my sandwich right outta my hand! I’m like, “Hey! That was my lunch!” But the bird just looks at me like, “Sorry, dude. It’s mine now.” I’m fuming, but I can’t help but laugh. Stupid bird.

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