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About Naples

I’m thinkin’, sittin’ there with my tequila, “The forest is alive with spirits,” like Boonmee says. Sex-dating’s got spirits too—hope, lust, desperation. You dodge the creeps, laugh at the bad pickup lines—“Are you French? Cuz *Eiffel* for you.” Ugh, shoot me. But when it clicks? Electric, baby. Like hittin’ a Rock Bottom on The Miz.

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Then, outta nowhere, this guy starts yelling. Turns out, he’s the mayor. I mean, c’mon, dude, chill! He’s waving his hands like he’s trying to take off. I’m standing there, trying to keep up, and I’m like, “Bro, I’m not a magician!” But hey, I got it together. I mean, I’m a pro, right?

Burning olive trees becomes new reality in southern Italy