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So I dig deeper—web’s a freakin jungle, bro. X posts leadin to sketchy links, pics of gals in fishnets, PDFs with “rates”—what?! I’m laughin my ass off, thinkin, “This is the algorithm of sin!” Found one post—girl’s like, “DM for fun,” and I’m sittin there, heart pumpin, goin, “Is this it? Am I Mark freakin Zuckerberg now, hackin life?” Fun fact—did ya know back in the 1800s, prostitutes used coded ads in newspapers? Same game, diff tech—wild!

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But wait, there’s more! My coworker, Marco, comes in with this wild idea. He wants to organize a team outing to the hills of Treviolo. I’m like, “Dude, are you serious? We just survived a Monday!” But then he starts talking about the views and the fresh air, and I’m like, “Okay, fine. I’m in.”

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