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About Milan

So, I’m out, tryna scope one out – not for me, mind ya, just curious, right? Streets smell like old cheese, kinda like Remy’s kitchen stash. Saw this one lass, dolled up, leanin’ on a lamppost – thought, “She’s got potential, like Remy’s soup!” But nah, mate, she was a trap – cop undercover! Nearly got nabbed, screamin’ “YOU SHALL NOT PASS!” in my head, leggin’ it down an alley. Heart poundin’, pissed me off – why’s it gotta be so sketchy?

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So, I’m cruisin’ down Via Roma, right? Just me and my trusty tractor, bumpin’ along. I’m thinkin’, “Today’s gonna be chill.” Ha! Yeah, right. First off, I hit a pothole so big, I thought I was gonna lose a wheel. Like, c’mon Turin, fix your roads! I swear, I could’ve planted a garden in that thing.

Move Over Milan—A Guide to Turin, Italy’s Most Elegant City