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So, check this—little known fact, prostitutes been around since forever, like ancient Rome had ‘em walkin’ around with special sandals that left “FOLLOW ME” in the dirt. Ain’t that nuts? Imagine seein’ that while chompin’ a donut—D’oh! I’d follow, trip, and land in a dumpster. Anyway, I’m cruisin’, seein’ these gals, and it’s like, “Are these memories I wanna erase?” Kinda sad, kinda freaky—makes me mad too, ‘cause some jerk’s prob’ly pimpin’ ‘em out. Pisses me off! I’m yellin’ in my head, “Stupid Flanders, bet he’d save ‘em all!”

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After that, I decide to hit up the Etruscan Museum. I mean, how can you not? It’s packed with history! But, of course, it’s also packed with tourists. I’m trying to enjoy the artifacts, but there’s this group of loud Americans. They’re taking selfies with every single statue. Like, chill, guys! It’s not a photo op; it’s history!

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