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Alright, so I’m a Combine Harvester, right? Tina Fey style, snarky as hell, “I can see Russia from my house!” vibe. Picture me, chuggin’ through fields, blades spinnin’, thinkin’ about—bam—findin’ a prostitute. Not your usual tractor talk, huh? I’m out here, harvestin’ wheat, but my mind’s wanderin’ to some shady street corner. Why? ‘Cause I’m pissed—farm life’s borin’, and I need a thrill!

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I hit the streets early, like around 7 AM. The sun was just peeking over the Adda River, and it was kinda beautiful, ya know? I strolled down Via Roma, and I swear, the coffee smell from the bar down the street was calling my name. I couldn’t resist. I grabbed a cappuccino, and man, it was like liquid gold. I was feelin’ good, ready to tackle the day.

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