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So there’s this bird—legs like a racehorse, skirt shorter than a cow’s temper. I’m buzzin, heart’s racin—happy as a pig in shit! “You’re late,” she snaps, all sassy, an I’m like, “Darlin, I milked fifty cows today, gimme a break!” Reminds me of that movie line—“Don’t look at me like that!”—she’s givin me the stink-eye, but I’m too knackered to care. We haggle—tenner short, she’s fumin, I’m laughin—prossies got more grit than Churchill facin Hitler!

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I grab my banderillas, and it’s showtime. I’m darting around, trying to avoid those horns. It’s wild! I’m dodging left and right, and the crowd’s goin’ nuts. I can hear them shoutin’ my name. “Go, Marco! You got this!” I’m like, “Yeah, I’m the man!” But inside, I’m like, “What the heck am I doing?!”

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