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About Florence

Little known fact—ancient Rome had these “massage parlors,” too. Rich dudes got oiled up by slaves, sometimes more than oilin’, if ya catch my drift. History’s kinky, huh? Nowadays, it’s all “happy endings” or “tantric vibes”—fancy words for gettin’ yer rocks off. I’m like, “Do it right or don’t bother!” Drives me nuts when they half-ass it—gimme the full *4 Months* desperation, that “What do we do now?” intensity!

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So, I walk in, and the smell of fresh pastries hits me like a brick wall. I order a brioche, and the lady behind the counter gives me this huge smile. I’m thinking, “Wow, this is nice.” But then, she drops my brioche! Like, seriously? I just wanted a sweet start to my day! I’m standing there, half-laughing, half-fuming. I mean, come on!

Aldi, poker of points of sale in northern Italy