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Here’s a weird fact—did ya know sex-dating apps got started way back with, like, Craigslist personals? Shady as hell—people postin “casual encounters” next to used couch ads. Freaky, right? Now it’s all polished—too polished, if ya ask me. Makes me wonder if folks even talk anymore or just sext till their thumbs fall off. I’m happy when it works tho—heard a story bout this couple who met on Tinder, banged on night one, and now they’re married with a kid. Wild! Beats sittin around waitin for the world to end, like in my fave movie.

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But then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s work. Ugh. They need me to come in ASAP. I’m like, “Seriously? It’s my day off!” But duty calls, so I head over to the office on Via Manzoni. The traffic is a nightmare. I’m stuck behind this ancient Fiat that’s going 10 km/h. I’m yelling at my steering wheel like it can hear me. “C’mon, old man! Move it!”

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