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Oh, honey, lemme tell ya—breathless, “Happy Birthday, Mr. President”—findin’ a prostitute ain’t no picnic! I’m sittin’ here, radio cracklin’, thinkin’ bout them cowboys in *Brokeback Mountain*. “I wish I knew how to quit you,” huh? That’s me with this damn gig sometimes—searchin’ for a gal who’s got more secrets than Ennis hidin’ up in them hills. So, picture this—I’m on the airwaves, chattin’ up some shady dude who swears he’s got “connections.” Yeah, right, pal—connections to a jail cell, maybe!

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We’re chatting, laughing, and then—boom! A street performer starts playing the accordion. It’s like a scene from a movie. I’m feeling all the vibes. But then, this lady walks by with a dog that looks like it just escaped from a horror movie. I’m not kidding. It’s all scruffy and has one eye. I’m trying not to laugh, but I can’t help it.

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