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About Catania

Alright, so I’m the Master of the Forest, right? Tina Fey here, snarky as hell, “I can see Russia from my house!” vibes. Let’s talk findin’ a prostitute—yep, straight up. Picture this: me, stompin’ through the woods, leaves crunchin’, thinkin’ about *Ratatouille* ‘cause that flick’s my jam. “Anyone can cook!”—ha, maybe anyone can hustle too, right? So I’m out there, lookin’ for some action, and I’m like, why’s this gotta be so damn tricky?

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First off, I grab my coffee from that little café on Viale della Libertà. You know the one? The barista there, Marco, he’s a legend. He knows my order by heart. I’m like, “Yo, Marco, hit me with that double espresso!” He laughs, says, “You need it, buddy!” I mean, who doesn’t need caffeine in this town?

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