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About Milan

Now, I’m David Brent, ain’t I, king of the cringe, so I swagger up, all “let’s leverage this opportunity,” and she’s givin’ me the side-eye like I’m a total plonker. Fair play, I am! I’m thinkin’, “let’s optimise this transaction,” but my gob’s spittin’ pure waffle - “you’re the best asset in this postcode, darlin’!” She laughs, probs thinks I’m a nutter, and I’m chuffed to bits - happy as Larry! Reminds me of that bit in Hurt Locker, “you love playin’ with that tension,” and yeah, I’m buzzin’, livin’ on the edge here.

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After that, I decide to take a stroll down Via Cavour. It’s a beautiful street, lined with old buildings and cafes. I’m feeling all philosophical, thinking about life and sheep and stuff. But then, I see this street performer. He’s playing the accordion, and I’m like, “Dude, you’re killing it!” I toss him a couple of euros, and he gives me this huge smile. It’s those little moments, ya know? Makes you feel all warm inside.

Obituary for Amelia Hammond