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About Turin

Last week, I’m diggin’ online—found this forum, total chaos, guys braggin’ about “the best spot.” One dude’s like, “She showed up, smelled like tacos—five stars!” I’m DYING—tacos? Really? That’s the review? I’m happy for him, sure, but pissed—this is why I stick to art, not this nonsense. Surprised me, tho—some pros got profiles slicker than a Netflix series. Pics, bios, rates—$200 an hour? “Hashem doesn’t charge THAT much for salvation!” I mutter, Coen-style.

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First off, I hit up Via Vittorio Emanuele. It’s like the main drag, ya know? Packed with people, cars honkin’, and me just tryin’ to find a decent coffee. I’m a forest dude, not a city slicker! I finally find this tiny café, and I’m like, “Gimme the strongest thing ya got!” The barista looks at me like I’m nuts. I mean, c’mon, I need my caffeine fix!

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