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So, anyway—me, Gollum, I’m sneaky, seein’ what normies miss. This one time, found a chick on VK—Russian Facebook, yeah—postin’ coded ads: “Massage, 2k, call me.” Massage my arse! Hiss! Rang her up, met in some dingy flat—smelled like borscht and regret. She was quick, tho—no chit-chat, just biz. “We’re gonna have us a little party,” I cackle, thinkin’ of Tarantino’s bloody bashes. Paid her, done, out—felt like a spy, precious! Exaggeratin’? Maybe—but it’s Russia, everythin’s a damn drama.

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I keep walking, trying to shake off the wet sock feeling. I head towards the beautiful Adda River. It’s stunning, honestly. The water’s glistening, and I’m like, “Okay, maybe today ain’t so bad.” I sit on a bench, just taking it all in. The mountains in the background, the sound of the water, it’s peaceful.

Stabbed to death in front of his mother: drama in Calolziocorte