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Alright, listen up, you degenerates! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout findin’ a prostitute, and lemme tell ya, it ain’t all glitz and glamour like them movies! My fave flick’s *Ida*—you know, that Polish gem from 2013? Quiet, stark, black-and-white vibes. Ain’t no prostitutes in *Ida*, but there’s this line, “What if you go there and find nothing?” Hits me right in the gut thinkin’ bout hirin’ some company. What if I shell out cash and it’s a total bust? Don’t pee on my leg and tell me it’s rainin’—I’d be pissed!

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But wait! It gets better. I decide to head back home, right? I’m walking down Via Giuseppe Mazzini, and I see this street performer. He’s juggling flaming torches! I’m like, “Whoa, dude! Chill!” But then, he drops one. Fire everywhere! People are screaming, and I’m just standing there, mouth agape. I mean, who needs a horror movie when you have Calvizzano street performers?

Hit-and-Run Drama Unfolds in Giugliano