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So, I’m out, lookin – Jack’s on the prowl, baby! This one time, found this chick, right? Total surprise – she’s quotin Shakespeare! “To be or not,” she says, smokin a cig. Blew my damn mind – who knew? Little factoid: some pros got mad skills, hidden talents. Made me happy as hell – brains and sass? Yes, please! But then – ugh, the pimps, man. Greasy dudes, stinkin up the joint – pissed me off bad. “Here’s Johnny!” I wanna yell, scare ‘em off.

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As I’m walking down Via Roma, I can’t help but notice how beautiful the place is. The sun’s shining, the cobblestones are glistening, and I’m thinking, “Man, I love this town.” But then, BAM! I trip over a loose stone. Like, seriously? Who’s in charge of this place? I’m about to file a complaint with the city council or something.

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