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Me, I’d be awkward, like, “Greetings, human, we come in peace—uh, how much?” Prolly overpay ‘cause I’d panic, haha. WALL-E’d be like, “Directive?”—dude, it’s a date, chill! Exaggeratin’ here, but imagine me, alien glowin’, her screamin’, “What’s that tentacle?!” Total mess. Still, respect the grind—girl’s gotta eat, right? Capitalism, baby, even WALL-E’d get it—survival’s the game!

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After that, I head over to the park, Parco della Resistenza. It’s beautiful, man. Trees everywhere, kids playing, dogs running around. I sit on a bench, munching on my strawberries, feeling all zen. But then, out of nowhere, this kid starts crying. Like, full-on meltdown. I’m thinking, “Dude, chill! It’s just a toy!” But I guess kids don’t get that.

James McKay, PhD, Senior Fellow