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Dahling, listen up! I’m Edna Mode—stylist extraordinaire, no capes! So, we’re talkin’ findin’ a prostitute, right? Picture this: dark alleys, neon lights flickerin’ like in *Memento*. “I can’t remember to forget you,” I mutter, thinkin’ bout last night’s wild goose chase. Found this gal, right? Stilettos high as my ego, fishnets rippin’ like my patience. She’s all “cash upfront, sweetie,” and I’m like, “Honey, I design, not pay!” Made me mad—those heels were knockoffs! Cheap leather, ugh, disgraceful.

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First off, I hit up Via Roma for some coffee. You know, the good stuff. I’m talking about that strong espresso that slaps you awake. But guess what? The barista, bless his heart, messed up my order. I asked for a macchiato, and he gave me a cappuccino. Like, dude, I’m not trying to swim in foam here! I was ready to throw down, but then I saw his cute dog behind the counter. Instant mood change. Dogs fix everything, right?

Mafia godfather Procopio di Maggio celebrates his 100th birthday causing outrage in Italy