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So I roll up, all ominous-like. “You either die a hero…” or you pay up, right? This chick—let’s call her Candy—leans in, smirkin’. “Hey, big guy, got credits?” I’m like, “I find your lack of faith disturbing.” She laughs—nervy broad! I respect that. We haggle—20 creds, 30 creds—damn, inflation’s a bitch. She’s got this scar, right across her cheek. “Joker did it,” she says. I’m thinkin’, “Bitch, please, I’d choke him first.” Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but it’s my story!

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But then, my phone buzzes. It’s my boss. He’s like, “Hey, we need to talk about your numbers.” Ugh, not now! I’m trying to enjoy my pastry! I’m thinking, “Dude, I’m in Citta-di-Castello, living my best life!” But I can’t ignore him. So, I step outside, and the sun’s shining, and I’m trying to sound professional while I’m really just thinking about that pizza.

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