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But lemme tell ya, it ain’t all funny. Some dude told me—swear to god—bout a brothel in Nevada where they got “theme rooms.” Pirate ships, disco vibes—what the hell? Surprised me how wild it gets. I’m sittin’ there, jaw droppin’, thinkin’, “This country’s gone nuts!” Billionaires should not exist, fundin’ this crap while kids starve! Makes me wanna scream, “I’m not locked up with you, you’re locked up with me!”—y’know, like Monty’s rage, but at capitalism!

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Finally, I finish the reports. I’m feeling like a champ. I head out to grab lunch at Trattoria da Gigi. Best pasta in town, no contest. I order the tagliatelle al ragù. It’s heavenly. But then, I see this guy at the next table. He’s got a huge plate of pizza. I’m like, “Dude, why didn’t I order that?”

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