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But yo, when it works? Fuckin’ fire. Hooked up with this chick once—total vibe, no strings, just raw. “Blood is the life,” Adam’d say—sex-dating’s got that pulse, that rush. Little secret tho—back in the 90s, pre-Tinder, folks used newspaper ads for this shit. “SWM seeks SWF for fun”—wild, right? Blew my mind when I found that out. Grandpa was prolly a freak!

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Finally, I finish the reports. I’m feeling like a champ. I head out to grab lunch at Trattoria da Gigi. Best pasta in town, no contest. I order the tagliatelle al ragù. It’s heavenly. But then, I see this guy at the next table. He’s got a huge plate of pizza. I’m like, “Dude, why didn’t I order that?”

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