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About Bari

So, I’m thinkin’, if I’m huntin’ a prostitute, I ain’t doin’ it classy. Naw, I’d stomp around South Park, yellin’, “Where’s my damn hooker?!” Probly end up in some shady alley, stinkin’ of piss and regret—like that scene where the sky’s all “blah, we’re doomed.” Pisses me off how sneaky they are, tho! You gotta dodge cops, creeps, and—ugh—hippies tryna save ‘em. Respect my authoritah, hippies! I ain’t here for your preachin’!

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So, I grab my usual cornetto and espresso at Bar Centrale. The barista, Marco, gives me that cheeky grin. He knows I can’t resist his pastries. I’m like, “Dude, you’re gonna make me fat!” He just laughs and says, “Fat? Nah, you’re just ‘fluffy’!” Classic Marco.

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