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Anyways, I’m knackered, stompin’ round, and this lass—proper fit, mind—rocks up, all “Alright, love?” I’m like, “Bloody hell, you’re no M Gustave!”—y’know, that slick git from the flick, all charm and mustache. She’s more “I’ve seen worse, pay up!” Cacklin’ my arse off, cos it’s tragic, innit? She’s eyeballin’ me like I’m a twat in a lab coat—fair, I s’pose!
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But then, I get a call from my boss. He’s like, “Where are you?” I’m like, “Uh, at the grape festival?” He’s not amused. I can feel the eye roll through the phone. But honestly, I don’t care. I’m having the time of my life.
Jefford: How to taste orange wine
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