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Little known fact—did ya know prostitutes in ancient Rome had to dye their hair blonde? Stand out, mark em as “dirty.” Wild, right? Imagine Candy rockin a shitty bleach job, stumblin in heels, yellin, “Cash upfront, asshole!” I’d laugh, but it’s sad too. Met her once—well, someone like her—smelled like cheap perfume and regret. Asked her why she does it. “Gotta eat, doc,” she says. Fair. Everybody lies, but hunger don’t.

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But then, just as we’re about to wrap up, we get stuck in traffic on Via Dante. I’m losing my mind. “Why is there always traffic here?!” I’m yelling at the cars like they can hear me. Marco’s just laughing, and I’m like, “Dude, this isn’t funny!”

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