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Oi mate, so I’m standin’ there, cash register beepin’, and this bloke comes in, reekin’ of cheap cologne, askin’ me—James Bond, suave, “shaken, not stirred”—where to find a prostitute. Me, I’m thinkin’, “What am I, yer bloody pimp?” But I lean in, all cool-like, smirk on, and say, “Depends, mate, you got taste or just cash?” He’s all twitchy, nervous, probly his first rodeo. I’m pissed tho—why me? Why not Google it, ya twat? But then I’m like, whatever, let’s have some fun.

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Inside, it’s packed. Everyone’s huddled together, sipping espresso and chatting. I’m soaked, looking like a drowned rat. But hey, I’m not the only one. We all start laughing about it. It’s like a mini party in there. I meet this artist, Sofia, who’s painting the stormy sea. Her work is incredible! I’m totally vibing with her.

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