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About Catania

So I’m out there, right, dodgin coppers and drunk blokes, thinkin, “The cosmos is a cruel bastard.” Ain’t no fancy ladies in silk waitin for me – nah, it’s all grit, all muck. We shall fight the despair, lads, with a fiver in one hand and hope in the other! Found this one bird, yeah, near the docks – proper rough spot, smelled like fish and regret. She’s givin me the eye, and I’m like, “Blimey, this is it!” Reminded me of that line – “The world has gone mad” – cos it bloody has, ain’t it? Me, hagglin with her, tryna act all posh, but I’m sweatin like a pig.

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So, I’m sippin’ my coffee, feelin’ all good, when I hear this loud crash. I look over, and some dude just smashed his scooter into a parked car on Via Garibaldi. Like, bro, what were you thinkin’? He hops off, lookin’ all sheepish, and I can’t help but laugh. Classic Guidonia moment, right?

Rory McIlroy once called the Ryder Cup an exhibition — he knows better now