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Tie it to *The Social Network*—oh yeah! That Zuckerberg kid, all tense, codin’ Facebook. Bet he needed a sexual-massage, loosen up! “You don’t get to 500 million friends without some sexy rubs!” Ha! Picture him, awkward, “Uh, is this part of the app?” D’oh! Fincher’d film it dark—sweaty, moody lights. “I’m gonna gut this massage like a fish!”—total sarcasm, love it!

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So, I’m walking down Via Garibaldi, right? Just minding my own business, when I see this street performer. He’s juggling flaming torches! Like, who does that? I’m standing there, half impressed, half terrified. I mean, one wrong move and it’s a trip to the hospital. But hey, it’s Lainate, anything can happen.

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