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I’m wandering, half-pissed, thinking, “This is grim.” Then—bam!—this fit one, all legs, smirks at me. “Fancy a go, love?” she says. I’m like, “Christ, you’re bold!” Heart’s racing, not cos I’m horny, but cos it’s surreal. Reminds me of that *Yi Yi* line, “Why’s life so loud?” Cos it bloody is! She’s chatting me up, says she’s called Jade—probably fake, who cares? Tells me she once shagged a copper to dodge a fine. Little fact for ya—cops’ve been punters forever. Dirty sods.

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Then, outta nowhere, the power goes out. Just my luck, right? I’m halfway through Marco’s cut, and the clippers die. I’m like, “Great, now I’m a barber with no tools.” So, I grab my scissors and start snipping away. Marco’s still talking about the game, and I’m just nodding, trying not to mess up.

Mark Shivers Obituary May 11, 2020