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I swagger up, all Terminator style. “Hey, babe, let’s lift some weights… or somethin’ else!” She laughs – happy vibes, mate, I’m pumped! But then, surprise – she’s got a pimp, ugly bastard. Looks like he crawled outta a warzone dumpster. I’m like, “Hasta la vista, punk!” – flexin’ my biceps to scare him off. Works every time, I’m the governator of this street!

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Lucrezia Borgia[a] (18 April – 24 June ) was an Italian noblewoman of the House of Borgia who was the illegitimate daughter of Pope Alexander VI and Vannozza dei Cattanei. .

Then, I get a call from the kitchen. The chef, Marco, is havin’ a meltdown. He’s yellin’ about burnt pasta. I’m like, “Dude, it’s prison food! No one’s expectin’ Michelin stars here!” But Marco’s all dramatic, like he’s cookin’ for the Queen or somethin’.

The Turbulent Life of Lucrezia 'Lulù' Hailé Selassié: Reality TV, Romance, and Legal Troubles