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About Bari

So, last week—god, was it last week?—I’m out, cruisin downtown, feelin all hot n bothered. Wanted to find a pro, someone who knows the game. Not these fake-ass posers, ya know? I’m talkin real deal—street smart, sassy, maybe even a lil dangerous. Like Anger in *Inside Out*—all fired up, ready to explode! I see this chick, leather skirt, smokin a cig—thought, “Bingo, she’s it.” But nah, turns out she’s just some hipster waitin for her Uber. Pissed me off—wasted my damn time!

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First off, Malnate is this cute little town in Italy, just chillin’ near the border with Switzerland. I mean, it’s got that whole picturesque vibe, ya know? But I wasn’t there for the views. Nah, I had some business to take care of. I parked my truck on Via Roma, and right away, I felt the buzz of the city. People everywhere, cars honking, and the smell of fresh pizza wafting through the air. I was like, “Dude, I’m in the wrong place!”

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