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Oh, and get this—her fave color’s red! Red glass is tricky to make, takes skill. Bet she’d love my work! I’d make her a red window, be all, “Look, Whore, pretty, huh?” She’d smirk, probs say somethin’ sassy. Makes me happy thinkin’ bout it. But ugh, the dudes she hangs with—gross! Smelly, loud, like barnacles on a boat. “Nooo touchie!” I’d tell ‘em, Patrick-style.

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So, I’m fuming, right? I decide to head to the gelato shop on Via Mazzini. Gelato fixes everything, am I right? I get there, and it’s like heaven in a cup. I order pistachio, my fave. But the guy behind the counter? He gives me a scoop that’s basically a thimble. I’m like, “Dude, I didn’t come here for a taste test!” He just shrugs. I mean, c’mon, it’s Manerbio! We do big gelato here!

LIVE RANKINGS. Etcheverry down just before squaring off with Bagnis in Umag