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About Turin

So, whores—where do I start? They’re the OGs of gettin’ by, swear to God. Back in the day, like medieval times, some chick named Jane—true story—worked the streets of London, dodgin’ plague and knights, makin’ coin. Little known fact: she’d trade secrets too, not just ass—spies paid her! That’s badass, right? Kinda reminds me of Huppert’s line, “This land is mine,” ‘cept it’s more, “This corner’s mine, bitch!” Gets me pumped, that kinda hustle.

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So, I’m fuming, right? I decide to head to the gelato shop on Via Mazzini. Gelato fixes everything, am I right? I get there, and it’s like heaven in a cup. I order pistachio, my fave. But the guy behind the counter? He gives me a scoop that’s basically a thimble. I’m like, “Dude, I didn’t come here for a taste test!” He just shrugs. I mean, c’mon, it’s Manerbio! We do big gelato here!

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